On this day, some time ago, Mr. Michael A. achieved his lifelong goal after great effort and consternation, finally becoming certified by the state to drink his own urine on a semi-professional (though not altogether tax-exempt) basis. Because of the incredible effort put forward to acheive his dream, he found himself unfortunately numb to the pleasures which his work had once brought him. Not long after, no longer able to consider any place for himself in the world, he melted away in the corner of his bedroom, transforming gradually into a fine yellow-orange dust.